That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
