I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I have fence marks all over my body
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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