Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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