Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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