let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
