i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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