The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
