quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
