i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
