This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
