how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize