i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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