She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize