I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Pants are for mortals
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize