I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
