if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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