We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
