if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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