3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
that is very illegal...i love you.
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