Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
