So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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