i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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