I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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