know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
