I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
