Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
