I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I think i got beer on your cat.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
