Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
