'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
