Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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