Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
