Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
