Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
