loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
