He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My bed smells like the plague
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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