i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
