super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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