he wants to bone in the snuggie
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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