Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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