Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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