he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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