We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
