I'm pants shitting drunk right now
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
