am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
