How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
