i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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