On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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