Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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