The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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