We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
