she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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