I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
