just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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