idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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