So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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