i need an iv and a liver transplant
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
