Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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