East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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