the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
