Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
