My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
