I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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