i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
