I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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